Unsolicited advice? No thanks.

I am watching my conversations and resulting impact in the relationships I have with my colleagues/friends more closely than ever. One startling discovery has been that people I've encountered (now, they are quite a number, but I shall refrain to generalize) seek empathy and not advice.

Clan 1
More particularly, when folks shared their problems with me, they always needed some understanding soul that can say a few words that make them feel better. Somehow, I was (and probably still am) into the habit of stumbling into giving them advices rather than expressing that I am with them. Not to mention that I can never ever afford to advice someone without understanding them. That would be a blunder and I would not accept of anyone and nothing less of myself. Nevertheless, my neurons which are advice savvy fired before any other! Result - I was perceived more as an advisor than anything else. Rest is history.
A very simple example is when my colleague said he is having a hard time to keep to the work pressure, he rather expected me to feel him and express some consolation, but I instead, gave him quite a gyan to come over it/kill the problem. As I said, I would not give the gyan if I am not genuinely interested in getting my colleague out of shit he was in. Next time, he approached me with another issue of his, I made it a point to make him feel comfortable and then offered my advice in a very low ampere - it was embraced and appreciated!

I have to be frank; this also relates to one of the earlier blogs where I patted myself with solid consoling skills. In fact, they were my advices that were camouflaged as consolation. Unsurprisingly, I was misinterpreted. It is another story that, over time, I made things quite clear and we are great friends now.

Clan 2
This is a tribe that neither expects to be consoled nor advised. This is interesting. I reckon, their feelings are shared as a victim of circumstances. They do not expect anything. In simple terms, it is FYI. So, I better be informed, could perhaps express empthy but again, no unsolicited advice - they are trashed hard and fast.

Perhaps, there is clan 3 as well that presumes they'll not be consoled but advised! Be it tribe 1/2/3, I still have quite a distance to travel in understanding them.